Wednesday, November 16, 2016

A reason not to buy the Apple watch

The most famous and least popular app in the future for the Apple Watch is something you don't want but will have anyway. Not that it will do you any good, to protest or otherwise because the app will do you no good, no good at all.
I'm talking about the iTruth, an app that will use the Apple watch's health features, like monitoring heart beat etc, etc, to see if you are telling the truth. Also known as the iTorture, the app will monitor your vitals and like old polygraphs of day by gone. Think of it, the Apple watch will tell you whether your significant other whether you are lying.
Should you buy it? Depends on who is wearing it.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Top 10 Trump voter excuses in 2020

Top 10 excuses Trump voters will give after America crashes and burn.

10. What problems? America is great again. Sorry, I'm off to pick up my pre-employement check.
9. I had to because all that Healthcare and Economy was choking us. 
8. I really believed that he respected women.
7. This is exactly what we expected for someone who isn't tainted with Washington political experience.
6. You didn't tell me Medicare and Medicaid was government healthcare.
5. I was so moved by Meliana's speech
4. I just voted for Republican.
3. He sounded so honest. At least he was honest.
2. I voted for Pence.
1. I'm an idiot. Why did you let me vote?

Bonus..
0. A lot more of you were supposed to vote for Clinton.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Voting for Trump is like voting for Brexit. Only that Trump voters want to exit from is reality.

Americans are famous for being ignorant about other countries. Even the smart ones. Some of them don't know what a Great Britain is. Great Britain had created a huge crap called Brexit. To recap, Great Britain's Prime Minister put to vote, that is he asked the people, to decide whether to remain in the European Union or get out. There was no real reason for him to do so. And it seemed that the logical choice was to remain in the EU. He just didn't count on two idiots who loved the sound of their own voices, to use their voices to scream lies about the benefits of leaving the EU. Sweet sounding lies, but really good lies.
It's the same with Trump. He lies all the time. He tells it like he thinks it is. It may not be true but it's honestly what he thinks. He may even think it's true. Like the people who warned Columbus. They honestly were worried for his safety at the edge of the earth.
The Republicans, with the exception of Sen. McCain, have sold their 'values' to Trump. For what price? Strangely enough, it's what you and me sell ourselves for regularly, our jobs.  These are career politicians. Getting elected means getting the next paycheck. Stand next to Trump? No problem.
On the other side, Clinton was aiming for history, at the cost of everything else. She didn't care about anything else. She didn't care if she ended up burning the world to get it. She was willing to burn.. well, Burney.
Coming back to Great Britain and Brexit. Like the US election, people voted with their hearts instead of their head and woke up the next day with a headache. Even Bush, the previous lowest standard, said he won't vote for Trump. But many people want so much to believe they are right, they don't care if they are wrong, they don't care about reality. Exactly like Trump.
Well, you reap what you sow.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

With an iPhone 6, everybody's Uri Geller

A bent spoon.
A bent spoon. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Well, we all know that buying Apple gives you the coolness and exclusivity of being a member of the select few who own the most popular phone in America. Apple has decided that it isn't enough. Now buying the latest Apple phone gives you psychic abilities.
Yes you will be able to bend your now phone like a spoon. Since there is nothing wrong with the phone, the only explanation left is that you have psychic abilities.  

Saturday, September 27, 2014

If the iPhone 6 bends, it could be just you

How is it that we are all upset about phones bending in pockets? Isn't this what we've been working for? No more annoying bulges in pants pockets. "Is that the new iPhone6 or are you just happy to see me?" Is it a worthy enough a fiasco, enough to add the '-gate' behind it, becoming Bendgate. Or is it just a feature that was never intended for general release?
Bendy phones, now that is a concept. More of a blast from the past. The last time phones were this curvy was the Nokia 8110. Remember that? The one Keanu Reeves was holding in the movies.
No, not that one.
Yes, that one.

It's been a long time since the Nokia 8110. No, the Huawei concept phone doesn't count because it's not a 'real' phone. We don't count concept cars, do we? And the Nokia 7110 doesn't count either. Nobody wants to remember that train wreck.
No, really. I don't get it. Why is there all this fuss? The phone bends because you sat with it in your pocket. At what point did you not feel the phone poking against you as you sat down. At same point you decided to ignore it as an inconvenience and get on with the business of sitting down. When you made that decision, unconsciously or not, you have passed the point of responsibility. That is, you have decided to sit down with your phone in your pants, heaven be damned.
Your next visit may not be heaven but it'll most likely be the Apple Store.  

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Lessons from the MTGOX fiasco

Bitcoin Magazine
Bitcoin Magazine (Photo credit: zcopley)
As we've all heard, MTGOX has gone under. Now I'm sure we've all heard this because it's all over the mainstream news. It's everywhere. It's a scandal. Ergo, it's newsworthy and deserves to be reported on. They don't understand what is it they're reporting on but they said it anyway. Which questions the quality of news you actually get from mainstream news..
But back to MTGOX. Some say it's a tragedy, some say it was timebomb that finally went off. All we can do is learn from it. And here are the top 5 things to learn from the demise of MTGOX.

  1. If you believe in BITCOIN, so will others. So much so, they'll steal it from you. Money isn't evil, it just drives people into doing evil things. So virtual money will drive people to do evil virtually.
  2. You need better security to protect bitcoin transactions, better than those used to protect trading card swaps. Apparently Magic just won't cut it
  3. Like in the real world, don't expect other virtual banks to bail your virtual bank out of trouble. It's the government's job apparently and they're still trying to get the spelling of bit-coin right. With dash or without.. And like the real world, the other virtual banks have thrown MTGOX under the bus, claiming that it was 'rogue'.
  4. The bitcoins that were stolen were not lost, like the mainstream news reported. The total amount of bitcoins that were stolen were about 7% of all bitcoins in the world. Why would anyone steal all those bitcoins and not spend it later. Unless the point was to destroy Bitcoin's reputation. Who would want to do that? After all that time and effort to hack MtGOX? .. except someone who feels threaten by it.. perhaps...er.. forget about what I said. Is that a drone humming above?
  5. . ... and finally, if you're gonna steal virtual currency from va irtual bank, steal everything. Everyone will be so upset with the bank, they'll stop looking for you. Really, how many people have you heard talking about getting the guys who did this? Why not go after the people who did this? Unless.. that drone is getting closer isn't it.

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Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The OneDrive to Rule Them All

Closeup of a stone sign bearing the Microsoft ...
 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Apparently Microsoft's way of using daily, household, common names as the names of their products is not working out so well. The Tile interface got smashed. The Phone (or as we call them Windows Phone) is the bronze winner in the mobile OS race (yea!). And so on. At one time Microsoft even tried to call a product DNS which upset a lot of people, like the entire Internet. Microsoft Bob didn't work out for them either but for entirely different reasons.
Now it comes out that Microsoft is renaming SkyDrive. Apparently someone has already been using the brand name Sky. Some satellite TV company that was apparently so small that Microsoft honestly didn't noticed them. Until of course, they sued. Apparently said company is owned by one Rupert Murdoch.
So now Microsoft has decided to rebrand SkyDrive as the OneDrive... cue "the OneDrive to rule them all"
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Saturday, February 8, 2014

Bill Gates returns to save Microsoft.. and

English: William Henry Gates III, CEO of Micro...
Bill Gates holding back what he really thinks about Windows 8.1? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
... and finds out why Microsoft is in such big do do. If installing Windows 8.1 takes the arguably most qualified men in the world to do so (Bill Gates and Sayta Nadella) hours.. there is no hope for us all.
Perhaps it needs the people behind Windows 8.1 to feel the wrath of Bill Gates to finally get things right.
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Thursday, February 6, 2014

Turkey's Internet chocked

internet WiFi availaible
WiFi available near the famous Hagia Sofia that goes...somewhere (Photo credit: girolame)
I'm sorry it had to be done. I know it's a serious issue but when else can you use that headline?

The rejected candidates:
  • Turkey's Intenet cooked
  • Internet in Turkey slaughtered
  • Internet in Turkey is a turkey
  • Cencors gobble up Internet

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Saturday, January 18, 2014

Amazon will send you things before you order them

In their non ending quest to be the only place you buy stuff from, Amazon is always looking to improve the time it takes for you to get the stuff you ordered. That is why they have boxes set up for you to receive stuff from them and in some places they are toying with the idea of 4-hour deliveries. That's why they are planning to drone your stuff to you.
Well, in the next logical step in the race to get stuff to you faster, Amazon has decided to skip you altogether. Your order, that is. Amazon has decided that one day, it'll just ship stuff to you before you order them. Amazon will just know what you need and ship it to you. Women, be prepared to be creeped out when you get from them the heavy, non-wing, maxi sanitary pads on the day before you start monthly periods. Or a new set of your favorite mascara the day you run out. Men won't be left out. You'll get the bar of soap and fresh undies thrown in with your next order because Amazon knows you're running out. Yes men, Amazon is now your mother.
Now, how will it know what you need is another matter altogether. Amazon hasn't patented mind reading yet so that's some thing to look out for. Knowing Amazon, it'll probably start with looking at your purchase history, what you buy and how often. So it'll know the right shampoo to send and look at how long it took between purchases to figure out when to send it. Then, it'll move on to your social media sites. Soon you'll receive packs of condoms in the mail just because of those risqué messages you're sending out to that special someone. Which should make an interesting discussion with your spouse.

Amazon Patents “Anticipatory” Shipping — To Start Sending Stuff Before You’ve Bought It http://techcrunch.com/2014/01/18/amazon-pre-ships/

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Release the virtual friar in you

Vatican 3
You don't need to scale these Vatican walls
to get to the manuscripts (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Are you someone who wishes to be religious, old-school style? Do you harbor ambitions of going back to ye olden times and copying out your own religious manuscript?  Or an ex-monk driving in a Ferrari but longing for your previous vocation?
Well fret not dear sir. Get yourself on the Internet and trek virtually to the Vatican. The Vatican has released ancient manuscripts on-line for the public to view. They have also made it okay for Dan Brown followers to peruse and pursue their own conspiracy ideas.
What is interesting is not only what the manuscripts say but what is on it. Apparently, the monks wrote in the margins. More like doodled. I hope someone OCRs the manuscripts and put them through Google Translate, twice. That should be hilarious. Everything is hilarious after Google Translate gets hold if it twice. Try it. Take any article, translate it to another language and another language. Now translate it back.
Speaking of Dan Brown, shouldn't he be writing about Tom Hanks discovering some doodle in the margin of Vatican manuscripts on a tablet proving the existence of a conspiracy to hold back Armageddon?
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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Amazon also wants drones to drop your packages

The power button of the Amazon Kindle 2
Will the drones be able to carry an Amazon Kindle? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I think you've heard about it by now. And now, everyone is talking about drones bringing you stuff you bought on-line. While FedEx was thinking about it in the past and a couple of Aussies decided to carry around the heaviest object known to a package, Amazon is stealing their thunder by going on 60 Minutes and announcing that they want to do the same.
If you live within some distance from an Amazon delivery center, Amazon wants to delivery your (light) stuff in about 30 minutes. That right. Amazon wants you to get your DVDs as soon as you get your pizza. Except it won't be a pimpled-faced kid at your door. It's the flying terminator. Because there will be no one piloting it. It'll use satellite and GPS to fly to your house.
Again, there is nothing wrong with this picture at all. All those drones flying around, missing all sorts of poles, wires and trees. All the while holding on to a dangling package. Totally safe.
I heard there is a sale on helmets at Amazon.
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Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Artificial Wombs and Robots: Living Like a Battery

English: Mobile phone evolution Русский: Эволю...
 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Is there no end to scientists taking movie ideas and trying to make them real? I'm okay with cell-phones, personal communicators and eventually, transporters. But really? An artificial womb?
Researchers at a private university in Japan are on their way to making the first artificial womb. It's a goat for now but that womb is big enough to keep anti-abortionists happy. Right now, they're not successful. The fetus can stay inside only for some time. The problem is feeding the fetus. Solve that and we might as well be selling pods and sell ourselves as batteries.
Which is something people would like to do anyway. It's a step above Couch Potato. At least your staying still and making money as a battery. The 3D world you live in is probably better than the one you are in anyway.
At the pace we're improving drones / robot / terminators, we well on our way. Why can't they look at movies and find ways that won't lead to end of humankind.

http://consciousnewsmedia.blogspot.ro/2013/11/the-artificial-womb-is-born-and-world.html?m=1#.UoM-cOzn670
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Monday, October 14, 2013

Watch out for drones bearing books in Australia

An Australian company is trying to deliver books with drones. That's right, drones.
Here your 50 Shades of Boom
Why wait for tomorrow for that book you ordered when you can get it right now. Two Australian companies are working together to make this happen. Since there is more than one person involved, it's safe to assume it's okay. I mean how crazy can two aussies be?
I know it's hard to compete with Amazon but do we have to resort to armaments?
And I get that some of us can't understand a Kindle. Or that reading from a screen is not the only same as reading from a piece of dead tree. Or that you're afraid of dropping it in a toilet. But really, does your need to read exceed the fear of something with 4 spinning blades showing up to your house or front door. Maybe you shouldn't fear the blades of the drone as much as you should a hardcover falling on your head. Or maybe that's the thing we need to make children read more, the fear of drones showing up with more books.
Can you imagine the swarm of drones flying around the next Harry Potter or Twilight book comes out?


Friday, July 5, 2013

Drone me Facebook

Facebook is trying to buy social mapping app Waze for about a billion dollars. Great. Just when you found a awesome GPS direction finder, traffic avoidance system, it's gets bought by the people who are in the business of selling information about you. You don't want the whole world to know where you are right now. You don't even want them to know where you were last night.
Français : Ce drone assemblé par Flying Eye pe...
 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
It's all a conspiracy, you know. The State Department is just outsourcing more and more stuff. Ever since their failed campaign to get Hamas to check-in their meetings on FourSquare, they are looking for legal ways to find people and sick the drone on them. With Facebook buying Waze, all they have to do is like a few facebook pages and follow a couple of squinty eyed looking guys on the Internet and Facebook will do the rest. Or they could spend a few bucks buying the information. How? Because Facebook is probably selling them.
Imagine the done is already on the way and the Paypal payment is taking forever to send the money to Facebook.
I give up. Don't Like my page. Drone it.

Google's bought Waze. Probably tired of people driving in the wrong directions using Maps.


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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

It's a Minority Report world

Eye
Eye (Photo credit: Gafoto)
Have you heard this? Now we can all live out Tom Cruise's nightmare. Well, not his real nightmare. One where he has in a movie. No, not waking up to Cameron Diaz next to him in bed. Not that movie. Ok, it may not have been his. It could have been Steven Spielberg's, though.
What I am talking about is the scene from Minority Report where Tom has to undergo eye surgery in the same way you get your kidney removed after passing out in a hotel room. When he wakes up, he goes around and all these billboards recognize him, well his eyes really, as an old chinese man. Wrong race, right height and complexion, though. The movie was set in the near future and guess what, the future is here.
This article from the Verge says that the age of where stores can recognize us is not far away. A company from New York, can now figure out what gender you are and how old you are just from a webcam. What you do is point from a webcam out from your store window and the software will tell you who has been watching your store window. It can be accurate up to 90% of the time, telling you whether it was a guy or a gal and whether they are young enough to be your customers.
This has store owners excited. They can greet their shoppers any time of the day. Imagine the day when the store window greets you young ladies "hi there mister" just because you forgot to shave some facial hair. Or wrap a shawl too close to your chin.. to hide the facial hair.
Or when the camera notices the diamond earrings and immediately adds 30% to the price on the LED display.
This can also backfire. Imagine the robotic store window calling the cops just because it's decided you're looking at the merchandise in the window the 'wrong' way.
Ah well.

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Monday, May 20, 2013

Best Google Glass App: PervAlert

Have you heard of Google Glass? Oh I'm sorry... "Project Glass".
It's the definitive way to know which side of the mirror you are on, non-geek or super-geek.
No, really it's a type of glasses you wear that shows your screen right in front of your eye. Yes, right in front of your eye. It's their way of getting back at their parents for warning them against sitting too close to the TV. Now, there is no way of getting any closer.
But really, seriously, it has it's good side. Like how often have you wondered, while talking to someone, whether the person you are talking to is a pervert. Yes, I know you've wondered about that. More than once. About a single person.
Well, with Google Glass, "Project Glass", you can now know or start to find out and make your own conclusion.. about whether the person sitting in front of you is a pervert. You see, Project Glass is an extension of your Android phone. Well, really Google actually. And like the phone, it needs apps to be useful. Like you can be watching a historical building and an app will tell you stuff about it.
What Project Glass needs is the PervAlert app. It will take a picture of the person you are talking to, do a facial recognition to starting finding out more about the person. It will match the face and using voice recognition and name to show their most recent and top Google searches, popular G+ posts and recent YouTube views. The app will rate the result based on keywords and weigh the result based on the stream and out comes a score..  a PossiblyPervScore. The higher the score, the more likely they are a pervert.
The app will then highlight several plausible excuses to exit the area and show the closes route to your car. Isn't technology wonderful?

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Is your Fitbit and Fuelband gossiping with your Aria Smartscale?

It the world of the Internet of Everything, the likelihood of your Fitbit gossiping with your Fuelband is very much a possibility. More embarrassingly so, they'll be able to figure out, together with your Aria Smartscale whether you've been cheating on them.. sorry.. your exercise.
When word gets out to your LG smart refrigerator, it'll start ordering more celery and broccoli, cancelling that bag of Snickers fun size bars. Your treadmill will add on an extra 3 minutes once you start running to compensate for all that lost exercise. The smart thermostat will raise the temperature just a tad so that you sweat that much more. Once the toilet confirms that your sugar and salt level is back on track, you expect peace once more.  

Friday, January 25, 2013

Windows RT hits puberty?

If you have older siblings, you'd know that parents track your progress by how soon you do the things your older brothers or sisters did. Say you learned to walk at 11 months, your parents would say, "His brother started walking at 10 months." Or "Your brother learned to ride the bicycle when was 4," when you had just announced your success at the age of 5. Or "It's ok that he's just learning to read. His brother was doing fine at this age". It's never "Thank god you want learn to drive at 16 and not steal the car and crashing-it-into-the-fence like your brother."
The Windows Surface Pimple
Well, by all signs Windows RT had finally grown up. It has achieved that important milestone of all Windows Operating systems: the first major bug. First it was thought to be a Windows update bug but later it was narrowed down to just Windows RT. The bug causes Windows update to fail. Some blame it for their applications crashing. But we all know in windows that could be anything.
So congratulations Windows RT for your first major bug. And for the prolonged response that comes with it. The fix to the bug comes out in a grand two weeks. But those 6 people who own a Surface tablet, you guys can just turn to their Windows Phone in the meantime. 

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Steve Jobs: Tech bully

In the most ironic turn for geeks, it turns out that the person who most people associate with high tech, Steve Jobs, turns out to be a mortal enemy of geeks, a bully. Wait a minute. How is this so?
Well it turns out that at some point Steve Jobs wasn't happy with a company trying to hire Apple staff. He then wrote to the company and threatened to use Apple's patents as a club against said company if they didn't stop. Not only did he say that but he also pointed out how big his club was. Now image yourself as the geek who suffered through high school, studied hard, went to university to come out and work for the most dynamic tech companies around... only to find out that your boss was that same tormentor from high school. Yes, that 'revenge of the geeks' fantasy didn't turn out as you had expected. Even when you thought you made it on Brain power, the Brawn still manages to come out on top. Riding on your Brain, apparently.
You see, there was this gentleman's agreement between companies to not poach each other's employees. And HR people who did, lost their jobs because of it. While in some cases, HR wasn't allowed to go out and recruit, in others, the company hiring went to that person's then employer and asked for permission to hire them.
Some people dismiss this as nothing new but won't condemn Jobs for it. They claim it is old news and nothing surprising. Well, so is indentured servitude... When you see people who work for you as objects you have control of, your attitude may not be too far from you and that southern plantation owner. Sure makes that 'employees are the companies greatest asset' slogan sound different, doesn't it. Some companies love their asset so much, they will bully others from taking them.
Apple strangely, is throwing Jobs under the bus. Current CEO Tim Cook, claims to have no part in this. Since he deals with the Chinese manufacturers, there are probably a lot of things he doesn't see.
Typically, Apple fanboys claim that this is not characteristic of Jobs. To them, I say, stop dreaming and start reading Revolution in The Valley: The Insanely Great Story of How the Mac Was Made. Find out how sausage is made.